Saturday, April 24, 2010

It is a catch 22 for me.....

Photobucket


Being an SMC that is....Don't get me wrong. I LOVE being a Mom. It is what I do best. It is what I have ALWAYS wanted. But, honestly, I just HATE being alone. I just do.....I love the part of being my kids only parent and not having to share my parenting with anyone else, but the alone part sucks for me...Maybe because I was never really alone. I don't know... Whatever it is. I HATE it. My Mom has been gone for 2 years and it just still seems no easier...It could be my lack of family, my weak support structures, etc.

I am not sure. I just know that I still have moments when I drive home from work and just WISH that I had an adult to sit and chat with. Nothing special. I am not longing for a hot date (though that would not be bad either :)). Just another intellectual adult to sit down and talk about my day with. When things are shitty at work, it would be really nice to be able to have someone to REALLY vent to... Typing it out on facebook just isn't the same.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

My Sister.....

Why?


I think that is always the question that comes to mind when I think of Kim...

Why is she like she is?
Whe is she so selfish?
Why can't she see how cruel she sometimes is?
Why can't she just be a sister?
Why does she have to be so cold?
Why is it that she can never seem to be there for me?
Why is it that I can never seem to cut her loose?

Most of the times all she does is aggravate me, yet I still answer her phone calls and talk to her. So, the million dollar question is WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME??? I really do not know....