It hit me like a ton of bricks last night.....

I tell myself... I tell my friends... I tell my family... "I have made peace with this move. I have made peace with the loss of the house." I have NOT.... It is NOT the actual house that I am sad about losing. It is what I am losing. I am losing the LAST connection that I have to Mom. This is it... When I walk out of THAT door, I will say my FINAL farewell to my mother. Sounds very silly to some, but makes perfect sense to me. She has been gone for 4 1/2 years, but has remained, in a very small way, with me. You see. That house was packed with memories of her...I could sit, close my eyes, and there she was. I will NOT have that once I leave. Nope gone. I will be in a place that has NO memories of Mom. She will not have spoken in any of the rooms. She will not have stepped into any of them. She will be DEAD for real. Wow. That is painful...