everywhere I go it is THERE.
Mother's Day THIS and Mother's Day THAT. Commercials, Cards, Cakes, Flowers, Blog entries, Board posts, etc. There is virtually NO PLACE that I have been that has not acknowledged this STUPID holiday in some way. Even Old Navy was having you put your name on the back of a piece of receipt paper if you were a mom today for a drawing. Why, I ask? Why??? Honestly, What is the frickin point? Must I be reminded of the fact that I have no mother or grandmother anymore? Must I be reminded of the fact that I am mother to some of the most self-centered, thoughtless kids? Apparently, the powers-that-be think so...
From where I sit, I REALLY just wanted to skip it. I DID. My Mom and Nana were FAR from perfect, but there was one quality that they had that I was PROUD to have inherited. That was the gift that we all 3 seemed to have for generosity. Yes, from a small girl on, I have always found great pleasure in giving to others. You can ask ANY of the people that I used to babysit for. I would spend what little money I did earn on THEIR kids. I loved to see the joy on the faces of people when I would give them gifts. In fact, I still do. That is one of the reasons that I chose the profession that I did. I knew at a very young age that giving to others was very meaningful to me and thus teaching would be a perfect career for me. I still spend more $$ on those around me than I ever do on myself. I am just not one to buy for myself. It is not something that I am used to doing. I am so used to always doing for others that it does NOT come naturally for me to actually take a moment to do something for me.
This is why I just want to forget these assinine holidays that just stand to remind me that SOMEHOW NONE of my 3 children have inherited that gift of generosity that I hold so dear. On the contrary, my children are quite the opposite to the point that it makes my nauseated. My children to not have a single thought for anyone other than themselves.
Tonight, I was in Walmart with Tylor and Taylar. As we walked through the store, I saw children there with their Dads, Uncles, grandparents, siblings, friends, etc. They were busily digging through what was left of the cards to hurry and choose one for tomorrow, while others were looking through flowers to choose a nice batch. In another area, I saw kids debating on which cake was "mom's favorite" for tomorrow. Some were so serious in their selections as this was so important. My son was oblivious to all of this. He walks stright to the video games. As Taylar and I grab the groceries that are necessary, he returns and proceeds to ask me if he can buy a $40 game. Now, mind you, he only has $25. He want to borrow the rest from me. I want to just scream and yell and shake him, but I am just so hurt that I can't. My child has $25 to spend on whatever he chooses and he does not even think to MAYBE pick up a $2 card for Mother's Day for Mom. Nope, instead he asks to borrow $19 (when tax is added) to buy himself a video game which he does NOT need!
This is when my heart officially broke...
When people think I am crazy for saying that I just want to skip these days, THIS is why! Valentine's Day this year was TERRIBLE. I woke up to NOTHING (not a handmade card or anything) and Mother's Day will be the same. The heartache from knowing that your kids are just that self-centered and that they care that little about you is just too much. The most upsetting thing to me is that this is the one characteristic in my sister that I despise the MOST! I just cannot believe that all 3 kids have it!!
My Nana or Mom made sure that this kind of thing did not happen, but they are both long gone now and I think that the best thing is for me to just acknowledge that these holidays died with them because I have no adult around to help out with my thoughtless children. I can only pray that their is hope for Brennyn or Baylee. Maybe 1 out of 5???
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
It has to be a hard holiday without your mom, Jenn. I really feel for you as I know with our moms being our best friends that it has to be difficult. For me I know that I wanted to be a mom SO LONG that even though my mom was/is here to celebrate, I always mourned not being a mom myself until my boys were born.
Your kids aren't yet at an age where the day is important to them or they are thoughtful enough to think about it. In another 2-3 years though, I expect that will change. Especially if you start drilling it into their heads now; otherwise it doesn't come naturally to kids. As I overheard one boy at a restaurant say to his mom, "But when is it KIDS day?" and his mom answered, "every day."
{{{{Jenn}}}} I agree with you, Mother's Day is just another overated holiday like V-Tine's Day. I try to think of these holidays as just another day, yet it's so hard not to with today's society.
I seriously don't remember when I started buying my mom a Mother's day card? I think I just made them for my mom, starting when I was in elementary school, because I had no money.
I totally understand your feelings Jenn! I wish I could have spent Mother's Day with you, as I know it was a very difficult day for you. *huge hugs*
Post a Comment