Just another ordinary day...

36 years ago today, a preemie baby was born to a very sad mom in Ridgewood, New Jersey. This mom had been deserted by the baby's father back in January when he decided that he had another love and this mom was all alone at the delivery of her 2nd daughter. She had prayed for another girl as she feared that raising a son would be "too tough" all alone. Her prayers were answered and due to extreme stress and depression the doc brought the baby into this world about 5 weeks early as they thought that it was the "safer" option for both mom and baby.

That baby was me and this day is my birthday. No big deal to anyone else and usually not a really big deal to me. "The little things are what you will miss most." Just keeps running through my head and has rung true on days like this. My mom never made a big deal about birthdays (since we have gotten older), but she did make the day yours. Your favorite cake and dinner consisting of your favorite foods. Just a small gesture, but means so much...

My big kids have really saddened me yet again with their lack of care/concern. A few days ago, I was asked what I wanted for my birthday by the kids. My response was "sleeping in would be fabulous!" Well, that did not happen. I was awoken bright and early by the littles as the rest of the house slept. I do not know just how I can teach them to care or whether that is even something that you can teach, but I am so sad that they do not have the instinct to care...

Odd thing is this: The ONLY card and gift that I got for my birthday was from my uncle. The same uncle that had distanced himself from me for a year and a half. Yes, it was Uncle Bill who came through on this day...Interesting turn of events...Just shows you that NEVER know which people will come through....

Oh wait, I did get a gift. It was the gift of sick twins. Both twins got sick starting yesterday and I was startled out a deep sleep at 4 AM to give another dose of Motrin to 2 babies with spiked fevers...Today, BOTH babies have been extremely fussy and Baylee has had HORRIBLE diarrhea...

So, as I said, just another ordinary day...

The BEES Part 4.....I AM SERIOUS!!!!

Yes...You just thought that I was DONE talking about the bees. WRONG!!!

The beekeeper did not make it out at the end of last week like he said, so we politely phoned him this week and told him that we needed him to check out the scene as we were STILL seeing some of our stinging psychotic roommates....

Ummm...How do I say this??? Let me just quote the beekeeper. "This is the largest hive that I have removed this season." Yes. Those were his EXACT words....

When he came the second time, he saw a small hole just above the small hive that the bees had rebuilt. He watched it and saw no bees coming in or out of it so thought that it was nothing. This time, he decided to pull that actual piece of wood off and see if there was anything behind it. "It is extremely rare that bees build more than one hive as they like to maintain the temperature in their hive and that is too hard if there is more than one." Oh huh. I see... What he disocovered was a hive even bigger than the first one. Yes. There was 150 pounds of hive STILL in my house. If you have been keeping up, that brings the grand total to 300 lbs of hive that has been removed from my house.

I am really not sure what message I am supposed to get from this. What lesson am I supposed to learn? Watch out for psychotic hybrid bees? Bees are really not our friends? Bees WILL take over your house if you let them? The side of a house can hold an astronomical amount of beehive without he humans seeing even one bit of it? Tolerance of insects and the stings that they inflict on my family? I do not know, but I do KNOW that I am tired of bees. I cannot even watch the "Bee Movie" without wanting to run in terror. I will forever feel different towards the flying nuisances that I have battled for so long now. I just wonder when/if our fight will ever end..??

New things are so fun!

The kids and I LOVE chili pies. It is a fun food and we have always looked forward to "chili pie" night when we have them.

Tonight, I thought that I would take a HUGE chance and let the twinkies try it. Holy cow! What a success!

They LOVED it!

Mmmmmm Mmmmm Good!!!



How about a HUGE kiss Mommy?


The light that my children bring into my life is my salvation.

Uncertain and Overwhelmed...

As the big day approaches, I always seem to get into a slump...

I hate that it happens, but it ALWAYS does. Another year older and still another list of things that need to be done/accomplished....

There are so many things that are up in the air that just grate on my nerves....

My Taylar seems to be doing great and then has a day like today that just throws EVERYONE for a loop...

My car. I need a new one and just do not see how it will happen....

My house. I constantly seem to be overwhelmed by this stupid house. It is always a disaster. I REALLY want to clean it when I get home, but I always have so much to do that I just never seem to get to it. Like tonight. I had all intentions of cleaning the bar and the kitchen table off. When I got home, it was baby duty, then taekwondo for Tobey, shopping while Tobey was in taekwondo, Tobey on the toilet when we FINALLY got home at 9, put away leftovers, a sink packed full of dishes, and a load of laundry.

My job...Ugh. I think that this is the thing that bothers me the most. I HATE working at my school. I am depressed every time I have to be there. The drive is just so far and the kids are so tough. After 12 years, I am ready for a break. However, it just does not seem like that is going to happen. No matter how hard I try, I seem to come up with nothing. As much as I hate to admit it, I think my sister is right. They (potential employers) see me and think that I am pregnant. Therefore, they do not hire me. I just want to cry. I REALLY do want to lose weight, but it is just so hard for me. Food has always been my comfort and lately, I seem to be needing LOTS of comfort. I wish that people would just ask, but they still might not believe me. I have this HUGE belly from carrying 2 sets of multiples and it just will not go away.

My big boys. They are both having a really hard time with all that has gone on in the past few months. Tobey has all of these emotions that he does not know what to do with. Therefore, he is lashing out at a 3-year-old as that seems to be all that he has figured he CAN do. Tylor seems to be holding up OK and then bursts into tears (as he did tonight) and says that he just misses "Grammy" so much. I just need the strength and guidance to get them through this. My priority is my children and their physical and emotional well-being is the key to my success...

My sleep. Ugh... I just cannot get a good night's sleep. I have had a good nap here and there, but the nighttime thing is just pathetic.

My future. The financial implications of the future worry me so much. It may be 5 or 6 years down the road, but I just KNOW that it will be on my doorstep before I know it. Will I be able to keep my house? Will I be able to pay the bills? Will we figure out how to make ends meet? SO many questions...

My sister. A much as I try to not let her get to me, she DOES. She is such a selfish careless person. She seems to have no feelings of care or concern for me or the kids. I just get so very sad at the thought that she is really what I have left in regards to my family. She is so different than me. I always keep the people that I love in my heart and mind. That seems to be the farthest thing from Kim's mind...

My babies. They are getting so busy and into everything. I worry that they will be too much for A as they seem to wear her out with their constant "busyness."

Years add on knowledge and experience, but that also adds worry and fear from what we have already seen/gone through. My biggest fear seems to be the worry that I will break. I am really not too sure that I can take much more and I fear that there is LOTS more to come....

"The Black Hole"

Oh my word! I am NOT kidding when I say that there REALLY is a black hole in my house. If it is not that, then it is a small version of the Bermuda Triangle and nothing EVER returns from it. Over the years, we have lost more things that we have NEVER EVER come across or found. I am talking really strange things too. Things like shoes, clothes, keys, toys, important papers, etc. Heck, we have even lost several pieces of silverware. It is a HUGE mystery and a sore spot to me. Just drives me bonkers when I cannot find something as I always fear the worst and wonder if we will ever see it again....

AWESOME!

Here is my newest treasure from a super sweet gal with TONS of talent!

Thank you Heather for creating such a priceless gem! I love me necklace and have already gotten so many happy comments!






Visit Heather's site to see more of her beautiful work.
http://www.faithcreations.shutterfly.com/action/

In the times of HEAVY fuel costs...It is kind of

interesting that my car started to say "full" ALL the time yesterday. Yes, my car somehow feels the pain that my wallet is feeling with the rising gas costs and decided that it will run on magical gas that never needs to be filled.

I wish...

Stopped by the dealer to see what the above problem would cost me. The guesstimate is around $1000. Yup... $1000 If it is not one thing, it is another. Bees, root canals, leaky toilet, and now fuel gage meter...$1000 to tell me how much gas I have in my tank...

Just add it to the list for 2008.

When the year comes to a close, I will be able to write a book...