Can you say aaaaahhhhhhh???

Like our morning routine was not already crazy enough, we just added more chaos to it this semester....

Tylor has auto shop first period. Well, since we live outside the district and shop is at a different school in the district, he cannot just "hop" on the bus that goes to that school like kids who live here do. Nope. MOM has to bring him!

So, I now have to get 5 kids up, the twins dropped off, and the triplets dropped off at 2 different high schools all before 7:10 AM! We have done it successfully (barely) for 2 days now. BUT, and I do mean BUT, we are like crazy maniacs, getting it done!

I already get up at 5:00 AM. I refuse to get up any earlier. No way!

Desperate for a Relationship

I have a friend V who is currently in the "dating" mode...

Only, I don't understand WHAT she is doing?? In the past year, she has dated several guys though eHarmony, but SERIOUSLY dated 3. When I say SERIOUS, I mean that with each one, she claims he is "the one." It is getting a bit old. First it was Tim. Tim was so nice, treated her so well. He was "the one." For 4 months. Then he started acting like a sleaze and she moved on. Next, came Andy. Oh, Andy was her "soulmate." He was definitely "the one!" This time, in LESS THAN A MONTH, she was engaged to be married! We were all sceptical. Wasn't she rushing things a bit? Didn't she want to make sure that she really knew him before making a lifetime commitment? Well, regardless of what any of us said, she went ahead with the engagement. Luckily, she was smart enough to make it a year-long one and did not plan to marry till June of 2012. Well, lo and behold, Andy turns out to be some psycho. Yeah. You see where I am going here??

I swear, it was not even a month later, and she was hot and heavy with Stephen. WTH?? She did not even mourn the loss of Andy. Now, a month into it and she is talking like Stephen is "the one." It is just insane! Am I that out of the loop? Is that how dating goes? And, do people have no values anymore? I mean, I am not a prude, but I would not be in the sack with a guy after like the 3rd date. I would want to get to know him. However, that seems to not be the case with V. She is sleeping over by like the 3rd date!

Oh, and I have I mentioned that V is 50????

I don't know. I guess that I am NOT that desperate for a relationship because I have watched and listened to her going through all of this BS for the past year and thought NO THANK YOU!!! First, it seems like too much of a hassle. Second, I have better morals/values than that. I respect myself more than that....

Maybe this explains just WHY I am single.....

Being sick and single... :(

Ugh Ugh Ugh

There are no easier words... I know that I have posted before on this topic, but it is just the HARDEST thing about being an SMC...

Being sick... :(

Lucky for me, I am NOT sick that often. I felt a bug coming on over the weekend. I tried my hardest to fight it. However, the bug had other plans and hit me like a TWO TON BRICK yesterday! Wow! It was a tough one. I laid my head down during my planning period and tried to sleep it off.

No luck...

I went home and tried my darndest to just be there. Yeah. That was a HUGE FAILURE! :( I prayed to God that nothing was going to go wrong as I could not get off of the couch... :( Thank goodness the teens are self-sufficient and the littles can even do what I direct them to do...I just had to lie there and tell kids what to do. It was horrible. I toughed it out till the twins went to bed and then promptly went with them. It was horrible... :(

I felt better this morning, but still feel like I should be in bed. No rest for us SMCs. It is so hard....

She Just Doesn't Get It...:(

I have a friend who I have just had to keep my distance from lately. I don't know what the deal is, but she has been so dense when it comes to "getting" things. I am not the only one who has noticed this as I have another friend who has mentioned the same thing to me..

You see, this friend has no kids. However, she thinks that all of us can just do things at the drop of a hat. She thinks that the world kind of revolves around her and it is just getting to a point where it is driving me batty! No, I can't go to a movie on a Sunday afternoon. I have kids to tend to. Yet, late evenings don't work for her because she can't stay up late. WTF?? You are married with no kids. You can sleep in as late as you want. What is the problem??

We try to get together to do something on the one day when all of us have childcare and she cannot come because that is the night that she is working her second job. Sorry. 3 of us arranging childcare is way harder to coordinate than you working a BB game. Priorities...

I might sound like a grouch, but it just needs to be a two-way street. IMHO. Treat us as a priority and we will do the same. We often feel like second choice. So, we can't help but find ourselves wanting to return the feeling....

A New Year

Well, I am not one for resolutions. I never stick to them and I just regret making them.... There are a few things that I DO want/need to accomplish this year and I will work hard to get those things accomplished...

I DO want to take some weight off this year, but that is EVERY year.
I AM trying to get my house refinanced and that should be done in the next month or so. So, I should have that taken care of.
Tylor will, hopefully get his license this summer and thus be able to help out with the driving around for extra-curricular activities and our upcoming trip out-of-state!
Make up my mind about the adoption thing. It weighs so heavily on my heart and I just can't seem to get rid of it. So, this year I will decide one way or the other if I am pursuing it.

Christmas....

Well, it is done...

As much as I would like to say that it was great and that I had a magical Christmas. I can't. It sucked. The one thing that is hardest about having LOK is the holidays. It is the time that I am reminded just how tight my budget is. It is also the time when I feel the most alone.

This year, I took my stocking down before the kids got up in the morning as I had no $$ to buy anything to fill it with and I did not want to deal with the questions that the twins would be asking in the morning when Mommy's stocking hung empty. Another painful reminder of mom gone. We used to fill each other's stockings for each other. One year, my house guest did it. I did it after that, but cannot anymore... More traditions gone....

At the holidays, we used to gather our family together. Now, there are so few of us and we don't even get all of us together. My Uncle Bill will not come to a gathering with my sister because he will not be in the same room as her husband. So, that leaves him out of many gatherings. I tried to remedy that on Christmas as the thought of ANYONE being alone on Christmas day breaks my heart. So, I invited him over for breakfast. When the triplets were smaller, both he and my Nana used to always come over and watch them open gifts. It was a tradition and I know that he enjoyed it. So, I am trying to rekindle that. I baked two casseroles and we shared the morning. Then, my sister and her family joined us for the afternoon. That was actually pleasant. The pleasantness of the situation actually made things worse as it just made them moving away even harder. If my BIL had been his usual a$$hole self, I would have been so much better about them moving away just 2 days later. But, NO, he had to be nice... Things are never easy in my life.... :(

Im mentally preparing myself....

I KNOW that it is coming...

Tobey's wound is worse than before. If that is even possible. There is even some necrotic tissue. It makes me physically ill to look at it. Just the thought that we spent SO MUCH time trying to heal that thing and had gotten SO CLOSE to be healed up to be BACK TO THE BEGINNING makes me so upset!

Tobey has had wounds here and there all his life, but NOTHING like what we have been battling this past year. This thing is relentless. It will NOT go away.... It won't. I just want to fall to the ground and cry...

I can't do another HUGE hospital stint again. I can't. The last one about killed me.... :(