When I made the choice to become a mother, I believe that I made the choice to put my OWN needs on the backburner for a good amount of time. My children became my priority. I now considered them FIRST when I did things and I no longer thought about what I needed as being priority...
I am often shocked to find other mothers who do NOT feel the same way... :( These women have a child/ren and yet still feel that their personal needs are superior. It saddens me to watch it. I observed it with V who always put herself first while she was raising 2 kids and it was so sad.... :(
I see it now with A. How can you possibly continue to meet people online and then up and MOVE to locations ACROSS THE COUNTRY to shack up with these people that you have met?? More over, allow your son to be involved in this? A did this 2X when she came to Houston and is now doing it again to go to VA. I think she is insane! Her poor son... :( This kid has been diagnosed by qualified people as being on the spectrum. However, she has yet, since his diagnosis at almost 4, to do 1 thing to assist him with HIS needs. She has not even shared his diagnosis with his school! :0So, this poor kid has had to try and cope without the assistance that he so deserves....All she has done is concern herself with finding a mate. Each time, poor P is allowed to get attached to these people only to be terribly upset (I am sure) when the relationship ends. How can he NOT be? He is just a kid....Throughout all of this, A is so proud of herself. Proud of what? Proud of no job? Proud of finding yet another person who will allow both her and her son to live off of them? Proud of the fact that she is quitting school again? Proud of the fact that she pulled her son out of school for a month so she could go have a conjugal visit with her girlfriend because she just could not wait till the summer? Give me a break!
When will these people step up and actually be the parents that these poor kids deserve? My question is this: How are these kids going to turn out???? Scary thought...
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Friday, April 13, 2012
Clear as mud....
What was so clear just two months ago. Not so much now...
Gosh, I don't know. It is so very frustrating. I was so sure that I KNEW the path that we were going to go down and that it was the exactly right one...
Then, things went completely downhill with Tobey and I was facing a new perspective on our life and where it was headed. Now, I am not so certain that the decisions that I thought were perfect are...
I don't like this. I want to know WHERE things are headed. I need a plan...
For now, I am going to step back. Let life just lead the way. Pray hard, and hope that the waters of clarity will come in and wash the mud away....
Gosh, I don't know. It is so very frustrating. I was so sure that I KNEW the path that we were going to go down and that it was the exactly right one...
Then, things went completely downhill with Tobey and I was facing a new perspective on our life and where it was headed. Now, I am not so certain that the decisions that I thought were perfect are...
I don't like this. I want to know WHERE things are headed. I need a plan...
For now, I am going to step back. Let life just lead the way. Pray hard, and hope that the waters of clarity will come in and wash the mud away....
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Head over and help if you can....
The family at the blog above is a wonderful family.... They have already adopted 4 kiddos and are now adopting a 14 year-old in desperate need of a speedy rescue. They are currently holding a dundraiser with awesome prizes. Head over and give if you are able.
Any little bit helps!
Monday, April 2, 2012
Just Do Not Know Anymore
This is just crazy...
I thought that I was so sure about what I wanted and where my life was headed in the upcoming year or two. I was fairly certain about most things.
Or so I thought....
Things have just been wild in the last couple of weeks. My emotions go UP and DOWN. One day I am thinking one way. The next, I am thinking the opposite.... I just don't understand? I am not usually confused about my life and where it is headed. I am not even sure where this is coming from and I do NOT like it. I am doubting everything that I thought that I was doing in the next year or two.
I need some clarity, and I need it now.....
RIGHT NOW!
I thought that I was so sure about what I wanted and where my life was headed in the upcoming year or two. I was fairly certain about most things.
Or so I thought....
Things have just been wild in the last couple of weeks. My emotions go UP and DOWN. One day I am thinking one way. The next, I am thinking the opposite.... I just don't understand? I am not usually confused about my life and where it is headed. I am not even sure where this is coming from and I do NOT like it. I am doubting everything that I thought that I was doing in the next year or two.
I need some clarity, and I need it now.....
RIGHT NOW!
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Thankful for E
Well, after the HUGE amount of stress that V caused me yesterday when she waltzed in and told me that she could no longer help me out, I found a replacement in E...
I am so thankful for E. She has come through for me when I had no one else. Something that I did not expect which is nice. I just hope that this works out. If not, I do NOT have anyone else to ask and do NOT know what I will do??
This is the last remaining thing that my mother dying has left me with trying to figure out...Mom did this and it was so easy...
I am so thankful for E. She has come through for me when I had no one else. Something that I did not expect which is nice. I just hope that this works out. If not, I do NOT have anyone else to ask and do NOT know what I will do??
This is the last remaining thing that my mother dying has left me with trying to figure out...Mom did this and it was so easy...
Monday, March 19, 2012
Again
Yup...It has happened again....
My friend V has decided that she no longer wants to help me out with the "Tobey thing." She is trying to say that it cost her $$ which I know is a lie because we have been taking out $$ every check to prevent it from doing just that...
However, I was afraid this would happen because she is NOT like my Uncle who was very disciplined with $$. See, he was taking $$ out each check and placing it in a savings account. Then, when it came to tax time, he had the $$ there to pay what he owed. No problem. Cost him nothing... V, was keeping the $$ that I told her to keep, but was NOT saving it. She was spending it... :( Now, she is claiming that she owes $700, but I am sure that she is conveniently forgetting the $$ that she was witholding from EVERY check!
I am again left to find someone to do this for me, and I do not know WHO I am going to ask??? I am pretty much out of options....
This is so stressful....
My friend V has decided that she no longer wants to help me out with the "Tobey thing." She is trying to say that it cost her $$ which I know is a lie because we have been taking out $$ every check to prevent it from doing just that...
However, I was afraid this would happen because she is NOT like my Uncle who was very disciplined with $$. See, he was taking $$ out each check and placing it in a savings account. Then, when it came to tax time, he had the $$ there to pay what he owed. No problem. Cost him nothing... V, was keeping the $$ that I told her to keep, but was NOT saving it. She was spending it... :( Now, she is claiming that she owes $700, but I am sure that she is conveniently forgetting the $$ that she was witholding from EVERY check!
I am again left to find someone to do this for me, and I do not know WHO I am going to ask??? I am pretty much out of options....
This is so stressful....
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Growing Apart....
Friendships are hard...
I am NOT one to make TONS of friends. I never have been. That has always been my sister's area. So, I have always been happy to have a few good friends when I do have them. Of late, I have noticed that one friend, in particular, has been acting a bit different. It is a sad reality for me to face, but I do believe that we have just grown apart.
I came to this realization when I was chatting with another friend in the same circle. She noticed the same thing with this friend. She seems to "try too hard" when she is around us. She seems to be having too many hypocritical moments. She just seems to have too many times when she upsets me with things that she says. I know that friends upset us now and then. NO friendship is perfect. But, it seems to me happening ALL the time now with her..... :( It is just so sad to see things like this happen. It is almost like a death. I don't think that anyone is particular is too blame. Things went certain ways for each of us and those paths caused our lives to pull apart. That is the reality.
Reality just pains us sometimes. But, it is what it is....
I am NOT one to make TONS of friends. I never have been. That has always been my sister's area. So, I have always been happy to have a few good friends when I do have them. Of late, I have noticed that one friend, in particular, has been acting a bit different. It is a sad reality for me to face, but I do believe that we have just grown apart.
I came to this realization when I was chatting with another friend in the same circle. She noticed the same thing with this friend. She seems to "try too hard" when she is around us. She seems to be having too many hypocritical moments. She just seems to have too many times when she upsets me with things that she says. I know that friends upset us now and then. NO friendship is perfect. But, it seems to me happening ALL the time now with her..... :( It is just so sad to see things like this happen. It is almost like a death. I don't think that anyone is particular is too blame. Things went certain ways for each of us and those paths caused our lives to pull apart. That is the reality.
Reality just pains us sometimes. But, it is what it is....
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