I spoke with the rep from the agency today.....
N IS still available...
This makes me both happy and sad. Happy in the sense that, IF things should come together for us, he will be there. Sad, in that he is STILL sitting in an orphanage with no one to cuddle, love and kiss on him.... :(
I told K of the issues that we were having in regards to Tobey and finances. She was very sweet and understanding. I told her that I would call if/when things change...
This leaves me in no better of a position...I wish that I could come to some sort of a decision or find an answer. I HATE where I am at. My mind and heart are so restless. I DON'T know WHAT to do. I wonder to myself WHY God would lay something like this upon my heart if I had NO WAY to make it a reality?? Just does not seem to make sense to me...Why oh why??
Still have NOT let go. I can't...
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