What many do not know is that you do not always get support when you are a single mother. There are often harsh words and heads turned as what you have done is so "wrong." I am viewed as someone who just did not have the patience to wait and went "against God's plan" to have kids. I have even been told that I got Tobey and Taylar because of what I did. Yes, I am the REASON for Tobey's SPINA BIFIDA and Taylar's AUTISM. There have been weak moments in my life when I have actually considered believing it...
In the past few years, I have discovered two boards that have changed my view of what people do really think. Yes, there is support out there and I am proud to say that I have found it in online communities that are not soley made up of SMCs. I mean, don't get me wrong, I appreciate the support of fellow SMCs. However, it just feels like it means a bit more when it comes from other places. People who are not obligated to support you because they are in the same boat. LOK and SAP have been my rock lately. The support that I get from the ladies on these boards has been the beams that hold me up. In my most recent turn of events, I have really needed this and appreciate it more than I ever thought. I cannot believe that I actually left one of the boards at one point over some mean, attacking person...I am glad that I spoke with someone and cleared up a HUGE misunderstanding and returned...
No one realizes how crucial support is until you REALLY need it. To all of the people on the boards I am talking about (you know who you are), THANK YOU!
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6 comments:
Well, you remember (maybe) when I shared with you the wise words of my father: "Don't let the turkeys get you down" (except he used a not-nice word for 'turkeys'...) The Bible would phrase it: "Do not return evil for evil." I think you do a marvelous job of turning the other cheek & taking the high road in such situations!
And I'm so very proud to call you my friend! :) :) :)
I am a bit humbled to read this. But it also makes my heart sing. I started Lotsofkids.com to be a board for *every* large-family parent, regardless of religion, marital status, etc. I wanted the common denominator to be the fact we all have and love large families. It touches my heart to hear that you have found it a beacon. I cannot take full credit for it, since the individuals who frequent the site are truly amazing individuals in their own right. I am happy that you found us and glad that you are able to find much-needed support within its walls...er, pages. LOL!
--Mirz
What about your third board Jenn? :P
Happy to hear you have some really wonderful supportive forums you belong to. *hugs* They can be very helpful & therapuetic!!
Jenn, didn't you know, there would be no such things as war, famine, or disease, if it weren't for single mothers? Single mothers are the undoing of society because we went against God's Will to wait for the perfect husband. So, anything that goes wrong in our lives or our kid's lives, we deserve, because we went against God's Plan to be alone or in miserable marriages for the rest of our lives.
Honestly, we live in a world of bigots, and I'm sorry to hear that people would say these things to you, a far better mother than 99% of moms out there!
I wish we could find a supportive SMC board. I feel lucky to have found a handful of SMCs from the snarky one we were on--that's been great. What we need to do is somehow find a good SMC board and all join or else create another one.
I second what Terri said! :o) She could not have said it better!
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