I just woke up wrong...My hair was sticking straight up as I hit the hay with wet hair last night and looked like I had a battle with some strange animal...
My mood is very low. Sad since we had such a GREAT weekend, but I just seemed to come down REALLY hard. I have cried 2X in the past 2 days for no major reasons. My boss (the nice one) came up to me to talk to day and I just burst into tears. I am hypersensitive and I hate it.
I am despising my job as it seems to be taking up so much of my time lately. I left the house at 6:30 AM while all the kids were still sleeping and came home at 8:15 PM to my babies sleeping. I have not even seen them today and that makes me sick!
I am so frustrated on the job front. I have had all of these GREAT entry interviews, but NOTHING seems to come of them. Yea Yea Yea...Tell me again that I "made" it into the pool, but what good is it if there are no available positions? I thought that I would punch "Sarah" yesterday when she said that "we would love to have you but, unfortunately, there are no positions available right now." Huh??? Why the heck are you interviewing for a job pool when there are no jobs? Call me dumb, but that makes very little sense to me! I just think that I really need to take a break from the classroom and the doldrum of teenagers. 12 years is a long time to devote to this population. I need some time to refuel and be the best that I can for my kids and I just do not think that I can do that teaching 180 high risk teens every day...I have reached a max point and I am very close to going over the edge...
Tomorrow is another day...
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4 comments:
Jenn, my friend, no easy answers... but I do know that as moms of many, we've got to *guard* our energy & strength, both physical and mental. This is truly a marathon, not a sprint, and burnout is a very dangerous threat. You've got a big age span between kiddos and your work with the second set has only just begun!
Sometimes I am in awe of the fact that I've still got babies/toddlers at my age, but the thing that ALWAYS grounds me is remembering that God is completely in control... He has given these children to us and He knows everything they need... and He will indeed meet their needs as we call upon Him! Each day we've got to offer our families up to Him and simply rely on Him.
So cry, scream, vent, take breaks and trips with your kiddos and friends... do whatever you need to do to refuel and most of all seek Him with everything you've got! Again, I must say ~ RELY. ON. HIM! He is the One who holds your family's lives in His hand and He promises to direct the paths of those who seek Him earnestly.
As always, I think you are doing an amazing job juggling enormous demands & pressures. Continue to give yourself time to heal from your loss... tears and ragged emotions are normal and will be for some time.
You know I love you! :)
No words. It stinks to be in a dead-end job that drains you. Many (((HUGS))) of understanding.
Oh Jenn...I understand you so much! I too, hate a lot of things lately, my life in general. I'm also hypersensitive, when I get uspet, I cry easily and than feel like a big baby. Doesn't it feel like life is like trying to keep your head about the water? It can really suck but we gotta do what we gotta do! Hang in there Jenn!! it will get better!!
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