Day 4- Your Parents

I could just write. I'm an orphan and end it there....

Right?

I mean, I should could...

I'll be a little more honest...

I am the the 2nd daughter of Judy and Louis. Judy was born in New Jersey where she lived until the family moved to Texas in 1973... Louis was Judy's TRUE LOVE and the LAST man that she was with until the day she died tragically young at the age of 62 years and 11 months. Sadly, Louis cheated on Judy while she was pregnant with me. She never recovered from this betrayal and never got over this. Mom never learned to trust a man again. She poured her heart and soul into her daughters and spent her entire life devoting herself to them. At times, she worked 2 jobs to be able to give her girls everything that she thought that they needed. She was a hermit of sorts. Never did anything socially for herself. Just work and home.

Her love for her daughters was unconditional and huge, but her sadness and loss from what my father did was even bigger and would eat at her as long as she lived....She suffered from depression and anxiety. She would eventually get the courage to see a psychiatrist and a therapist for help, but I believe that she never REALLY got help. Meds, therapies, outpatient clinics would never allow her to find the peace that she so needed deserved...

Though she never admitted it to me, I know that she died still having feelings for my father...

My father Louis is a sad, pathetic man. He is sitting in Beaumont Prison right now. He was sentenced to 20 years for a "Pyramid Scheme" that he was involved in that stole millions of dollars from innocent, unsuspecting people. My father has never been a "father" to me or my sister. When he and my mother divorced, he thought that meant that his duties as dad were done. He never attempted to show emotion of feeling towards us. Growing up, I watched my mother beg and plead him to send the measly $75 per week that he was assigned ($25 per kid and $25 alimony) to send as he was never on time with it. We MAYBE saw him once a year. As I got older (teenager), I went through a phase where I really wanted to kindle our relationship. I was only turned away again and again as I was told that I could not visit since my stepmonster was "having another baby" (she had 5 kids) or some other excuse...The alimony that my father was ordered by the court to pay until my mother "remarried or died" was stopped when I turned 18. He knew that my mother would not take him to court or that the state of Texas would not honor it... :( He offered not one dime towards either my or my sister's college educations and does not know any of his 7 grandchildren from Kim and I...

My stepmonster is just that. She is the lady that my dad cheated on my mom with. The one that ended my mom's marriage. So, the feelings towards her by my family were never great. But, she was always careful to point out to HER children that Kim and I were only HALF sisters. She would NOT let her kids get close to us. I mean, I LOVE kids. I thought it was great that I had so many siblings. I was so excited to be able to visit and spend time with them. She made it miserable as she would not let them anywhere near them.

After my mother passed away, I made an attempt to connect with some of my 1/2 siblings as I have so little family that I thought it would be nice for my kids to have something. I even told them that my mother had died and thought that this would make a difference. Nope. None of them would even accept my FB friend request. Just shows how their mother has turned them away from us. Sad, but true...

I mean, my big and little kids are really just 1/2 siblings and they are NOTHING like that. They consider each other brothers and sisters and NOTHING LESS!!!!